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“Oh twice as much, ain’t twice as good.
And can’t sustain, like a one half could.
It’s wanting more, that’s gonna send me to my knees.”
-John Mayer, lyrics to Gravity
A couple years ago I took Dad shoe shopping.
“Excuse me… shoe shopping?” he asked, as if I’d just asked him over for movie night to watch Eat. Pray. Love. Shopping for shoes apparently was a foreign concept for him, as it apparently is for many males over 50.
Now most middle-aged, American men I know think shoe-shopping means picking up a pair of size 11 Court Classics on the way from the patio furniture to the checkout line at Costco.
“Naw, I don’t need to try them on…” he’d say, while pushing the loaded cart that included two buckets of Cheeto Balls.
I’m sure Costco shoes fit many people, and at $22 I have to admit, they’re a darned good buy – but not if you buy a new pair every year.
From his glimping walk, it was clear Dad had needed a quality pair of shoes for years, that he could wear for years.
By lunch, we’d found a Walking Store, and soon the salesman had slipped on a quality pair of ECCO lace-up leather shoes, with good support. And guess what? Like Mikey in the Life Cereal commercials, he liked it!
Then he looked at the shoebox and whispered with the intensity of a breaching whale, “ONE- HUNDRED and SIXTY BUCKS for a pair of shoes?!?!”
Sensing the situation was getting out of hand, I quickly located another pair with a big red sticker on the sole revealing those brilliant words we expert shoppers all know and love: “25% OFF!”
But wait! There’s more… good news. The cheaper shoes even fit. Phew!
At the counter, the salesman asked, in a matter-of-fact tone, “Which orthotic insole did you need? Blue or green?”
I turned and asked, “Do you have a low or high arch, Dad?”
Silently, his shoulders and eyebrows raised and the edges of his lips lowered – all in unison.
“He’ll take green,” I turned back to the cashier and $79 popped on the cash register in sync with Dad’s eyes nearly popping out of his head.
This was a momentous day in his life as he walked out with his wallet feeling $200 lighter, and his feet feeling even lighter.
Two years later, he’s still wearing the ECCOs.
So, why are you still buying so many shoes that don’t fit? Who are you trying to impress?
Living a right-sized life isn’t giving up comfort – just the opposite. Like a tailor measures and adjusts a shirt or dress to fit your body, a customized life fits better than a closet full of misery that gets ignored and eventually discarded.
Right-sized doesn’t mean living small, any more than wearing a tight pair of shoes is supposed to feel good. Right-sizing your life is about finding the right pair of quality shoes that fit comfortably. Then, deciding not to buy more until the ones you have don’t serve their purpose.
Does this mean you have to have just one pair of shoes in your closet? No. But not 30, or 50, or 100, either.
A week later, I got a call from Dad saying he’d taken a dozen pair of old shoes – from sneakers to winged tips – down to the Salvation Army. “But I’m keeping the Uggs,” he said with the conviction of a German Commandant.
“Nice,” I replied. “How’s having less feel?”
“Uh, good… I guess,” his shoulders and face moving with signature accord, in a way that says so much, while saying so little. He was content. On his way to living lighter, with the right sized shoes.
“Want to see a movie tonight?” he asked.
“Sure,” and I smiled.
Next week
One crucial part of considering a right-sized life is one’s surroundings – they can’t be ignored. Where we eat, pray, love… (achem) sleep, and do laundry, has a lot to do with how we feel.
In next week’s blog, we’ll take a look at traveling light, but we’ll stay home. We’ll consider the question, What does one really need to be content at home? And, How is life enhanced by lightening our loads?
We’ll be look at traveling light at home, in a house that expresses your style, while expressing a personality that’s as unique as your own.
So, why are you still carrying around all that baggage?
Your blogs speak to a yearning inside of me that has been growing for a few years now. I’ve wanted to break free of the chains of societies pressures to be something that I know I don’t even want to be and let go of the unnecessary baggage I’ve held on to for years thinking, “I may need that someday.” Alas, I haven’t; so why hold on to it? I’m so elated you posted your journey b/c it gives me the will and the want to complete mine. Thank you!
So pretty much, I hate what society has brainwashed us into thinking. Apparently we are supposed to wear what celebrates where, date only the good looking people, and be a jerk to everyone. I remember back in high school, I fell into the society trap. Nowadays I spend my time college days being who I want to be. I don’t need to be a society robot. Making this change has definitely caused me to down grade in material items and I feel less bogged down by “stuff”. I’m glad that you have decide to let the world know that it’s okay to not have everything that you think you need.